I Get No Respect

I really am boring. In fact, I regularly get forgotten. I’ve made plans before to go to lunch with people and get left behind. It wouldn’t be so bad, except its happened more than once. I think my voice must be annoyingly pitched like a gnat. Hear that, “zzzz zz bzz?” No? it’s all right. Most people don’t. I regularly get talked over. Walked by. Ignored. Really. I get not respect. It’s nothing new either. My sister and best friend couldn’t figure out what to do with me for a bachelorettes party. It was a choice between bingo and nothing. They chose nothing. I guess being boring is not necessarily a bad thing. I am stable, loyal, quiet, and what’s the word I hear a lot? Calm. That’s it. Calm. I think that’s a synonym for boring. Even so, I’ll take it. Calm is good. I did come up with some more(mildly) interesting things about me: 14. While in Vegas, on my way to an interview, I took the bus headed in the wrong direction and what should have been a 15 minute bus ride turned into over two hours while the bus drove its whole route. Then, as I walked to the office I was to be interviewed at in my best dress and heels, I was chased by a tumbleweed. 13. I used to have a Prince poster hanging in my bedroom. 12. I worked at a major international engineering firm as the Executive Assistant for the Vice President over the whole Eastern Region. 11. My first vehicle was a big, green truck with huge wheels, a CB antenna, bush guards, and a roll bar. I worked and saved up the $1025 on my own. 10. As a teenager, I only baby sat twice – and one of those times I brought my best friend to help me out. 9. My first job was at a Tastee Freeze when I was in the 9th grade. I quit it when the owner yelled at me about an empty Redi-Whip can. 8. My Indian name is “Little Feather.” 7. I’ve read the book, A Wrinkle In Time, probably over 30 times. The Hobbit would be a close second in how many times I’ve read it, and then Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy would be next. 6. I’ve swam in hot springs surrounded by snow. 5. As a prize for an essay, I won $500. The essay described in agonizing detail how “male” religions borrowed from and overthrew the ancient, harmonious “female” religions. 4. I played the flute for four years. 3. Lee used to call me a beatnik. (See #5 above). 2. Once I became a Christian, I had to kick my Cosmopolitan magazine addiction. 1. Finally, I’ve moved over twenty times (from trailers, to studio apartments, to Alaska, Las Vegas, Washington D.C.)